


En Garde!

by Desolate_Smog



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28606437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desolate_Smog/pseuds/Desolate_Smog
Summary: There's a new shipment of flowers sitting out the back and Roman's determined to fix things around this store.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Everyone
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	En Garde!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LostChoirChild](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostChoirChild/gifts).



> *squints in the distance at your birthday*

Roman stared intently at the miscreant before him. A reoccurring foe, Roman knew this battle would be difficult and hard won.

“We meet again,” Logan said, adjusting the glasses on his face.

“You shan’t best me this time, fiend.” Roman vowed. He'd lost this battle many times but he felt it in his gut that today would be the day he'd win again. Today he would have victory.

“I like that word!” Roman’s favourite person shouted across the store.

“Thank you, Patton,” Roman said without taking his eyes off his nemesis. His chest puffed out in pride.

“This means nothing,” Logan sneered. “Patton compliments everyone.”

“You tell ‘em, Specs,”

“Unlawful choosing of sides!” Roman announced. “You have chosen to do the dishes tonight!”

“Damn it.”

“Virgil!” Patton scolded.

“You’re distracting from the issue,” Logan said. “Afraid, Prince?”

“Of you?” Roman asked, rolling his eyes. “Pah! Only in your dreams, Roboto.”

The door to the shop slammed open as Remus walked in, zeroing in on Roman and Logan immediately. “Ooo, new shipment?” 

“Logan and Roman are already duking it out over it,” Virgil said from wherever he was. Roman was too busy trying to glare Logan into submission and pretend like his brother wasn’t going to gang up on him. 

“You can’t duke things out without a duke~!” Remus declared as he walked closer, and therefore doubling Roman’s enemy count. 

“You can’t sort flowers alphabetically.” Roman said, pointing an accusing finger at Logan. He pointed it at Remus and continued, “It shouldn’t be done and you know it!” 

Remus grinned at him gleefully. 

Logan sighed. “You can’t sort the flowers by _aesthetics_ , Roman. That’s what arrangements are for.” 

“Lies.” Roman said. “It’s not just by aesthetics—though those are important! It’s by plant species too!” 

“Plant species go together by alphabetical order.” 

“C’mon Princey,” Virgil needled. “Not only would you have to do less work rearranging the whole store—again—you get to go home. You’ve been here since opening.” 

“And,” Remus added with a leer, leaning into Logan and throwing an arm over his shoulder. “I get to take pictures of Logan being all demanding.” 

Logan sighed. 

“You are most foul.” Roman said.

“Like roadkill.” Remus agreed. “Like _bird_ roadkill. Fowl, Logan!” 

“Weak,” Virgil judged. 

“Nevertheless,” Logan said, adjusting his tie. “Roman. Accept defeat.”

“It’s okay Roman,” Patton said, waving his phone in the air. “I called Janus!”

Logan and Virgil groaned. Remus giggled at the sound and slumped further into Logan and looked over Roman’s shoulder at Virgil. “Patton called the cavalry! Didn’t snakeface tell you you weren’t supposed to work today, Virgey?” 

Patton scolded Virgil for his muffled cursing. 

“The war is not over yet,” Roman grinned triumphantly. “We will make this store pretty!”

“It’s already pretty,” Virgil said. “That’s the whole point of flowers.” 

Roman spun around to stab an accusing finger at him. “You have no eye for detail! This is why Janus pulled you from the arranging station!”

Virgil scowled at him and gave a pointed sweep of his broom in Roman’s direction. 

“Low blow,” Remus said behind him. “You can’t call a man out for his lack of arranging, you monster.” 

“What? No, I was saying facts!” Roman defended, spinning back around.

“Overruled,” Logan shook his head. “You’re on bathroom clean up.” 

“You can’t overrule me, you’re emotionally involved!” Roman said, putting his hands on his hips. “Patton?” 

“I’m with Logan on this one kiddo,” Patton replied. “You should apologise too!” 

“Ugh. Fine.” Roman slumped his head down. He turned to face Virgil. “That wasn’t very princely of me, and I apologise.” 

“And you’ll buy me those headphones I want.” 

Roman considered the price of those headphones (expensive) and the amount of love he had for Virgil (expansive) and nodded with a light sigh. “I will make it up to you.” 

“Nice,” Virgil smirked at him. Roman was just relieved that he wasn’t too insulted. 

“Now.” Roman said, spinning again to face his immediate foes. “Hand the shipment to me, and perhaps Janus won’t need to get involved!” 

“Involved in what?” Janus asked as he walked in, eyeing the open door with suspicion. 

“I didn’t hit the wall!” Remus shouted. 

“The new shipment arrived!” Patton responded to Janus’ question. 

“Ah,” Janus moved slowly, eying everyone in the store. Roman tilted his chin up when Janus met his eyes. 

When Janus looked in Patton’s direction he smirked. “What have we had so far?” 

“The usual new shipment standoff!” Patton giggled. “Unlawful choosing of sides, low blows, and wordplay!” 

Janus made a clicking noise with his tongue. “Without me? I’m wounded.” 

Roman took a step forward. “Janus, I beseech thee to tell these vile creatures that the store shouldn’t be alphabetical!” 

“That’s not proper old English,” Logan interjected. 

“You know I agree with you, Roman,” Janus said, “but we wouldn’t have the time to organise it.”

Roman staggered back at the blow. “Blasphemy!” 

“I told you dude,” 

“Leave the shipment to us, Janny!” Remus said, grinning sharply at Roman. 

“Noo, my plans, my dreams!” Roman mourned, half-genuinely. He brandished a nearby watering can in Janus’ direction. “You’ve cursed me this day, good sir!” 

Janus blinked at him before something dark settled over his face. He began walking towards Roman, taking off his gloves. “ _’Good sir’_? My, Roman, you must have me mistaken for someone who cares,” 

“Ooh,” Remus commented. “My week’s laundry on Janus!” 

“My opening shifts on Roman,” Logan muttered. 

“Too hard to tell.” Virgil said. 

“Hey! I thought we weren’t betting anymore, kiddos!”

Roman blocked them out, watching his foe walk forward and grab a watering can of his own. 

“You never loved him,” Roman said solemnly, “and I doubt you ever loved me either!” 

“Oh, it always comes back to _Thomas,_ ” Janus rolled his eyes. “Of course I never loved him! It was always about making you jealous!” 

“How could you do that to him? He was my brother!” Roman jerked his watering can, making some of the water spill out. 

Patton gasped in the background. 

“How long have we had another brother for, Roman?” Remus heckled.

“Our whole lives!” Roman answered, briefly pointing the watering can at his twin. “You don’t remember our older brother Thomas?” 

“How could I forget?” Remus hit himself in the forehead. 

“What better way to make you want me for yourself?” Janus demanded, and Roman faced his opponent again. “Watching you break your own brother’s heart? Delicious.” 

“I refuse to let you harm my family this way, Dante!” 

“Boo,” Virgil said, “he was Dante just the other day.” 

“You don’t even know my name!” Janus mocked, pointing his watering can at Roman. Roman placed a hand over his heart. 

“You lied to me about your name too?” He said, his voice breaking in the middle. 

“Nicely done,” Logan nodded.

“Oh, my sweet,” Janus crooned at him, as if he was a dog. Roman stood straighter in offence. “My sweet, what would you know of the things I’ve lied to you about?” 

“Villain,” Roman snapped at him. “I will avenge my heart and my brother!” 

“Is Thomas dead now?” Remus asked, far too excitedly.

“He may as well be after what this rogue did to him!” 

“What I did?” Janus said with mild faked surprise. “No, no, don’t you remember? I did nothing but love Thomas. _You_ were the one who broke his heart.” 

“It’s not true!” Roman cried. He lunged forward, swinging his watering can. “Fight me!” 

Janus blocked the blow and shifted his feet to return with one of his own. Roman parried, snarled at Janus, and pushed forward, the water from their cans sloshing about. Remus and Patton cheered them on in the background as they fought, but Roman knew he had the upper hand. He pushed Janus back until his was backed against a stand of flowers, aimed his watering can at his foe’s heart and tilted until the water rushed forward, threatening Janus’ clothes. 

“Concede.” Roman demanded. 

“Oh, Roman,” Janus said, far too calmly for a man about to die, “You still aren’t paying attention.”

Roman tilted his head in confusion. “I’m not?” 

“I’m not the one who played with your heart—although this petty fight has shown me the delight there is in that. No, the man you’re looking for is my identical twin!” 

“No,” Roman gasped. The others muttered in the background at the twist. 

“Oh yes,” Janus smirked, leaning into the watering can threatening him. “You can kill me, but know it will mean Thomas’ demise also.” 

“I…” 

“You broke his heart,” Janus said sweetly. “Will you kill him too?” 

Remus started laughing in the background. 

Roman blinked back tears. “I can still save him. The same can’t be said for you.” 

Janus sneered. “You’re making a mistake.” 

Roman poured the watering can on Janus, who acted like he’d been stabbed and fell to the floor. “The only mistake I ever made was getting involved with you and your twin.” 

Applause filled the room, with cheering from Patton and Remus. Roman bowed and reached down to grab Janus’ hand and help him up. 

Janus tugged at his (lightly) wet shirt and sent Roman a look. “Not a clean murder. You’d be convicted straight away.” 

Roman grinned at him in triumph as Janus realised his mistake. “Good thing I’m not straight then!” 

“Congratulations, Roman,” Logan said. “I thank you for the sacrifice of your ‘brother’, it has won me a week without opening shifts.” 

Remus groaned. He continued groaning when no one acknowledged the noise. 

“Very dramatic.” Virgil agreed. 

Janus clapped his hands. “It’s settled then. The store organisation will stay the same, and Roman can try convincing us again at the next shipment. Let’s close up and go home.” 

Patton cheered again at that. Roman laughed and put his disappointment to the side to help his family finish closing the store. 

Next time he would win. He was sure of it.


End file.
